Kayaking – peaceful, often solitary. Paddling, appreciating nature when SUDDENLY a powerboat screams past, assaulting the quiet, spewing a huge rollicking wake. Fight it, tense and angry? Breathe, and paddle into it head-on?
Yesterday, I fought – clenched, tight, outraged – emotion roiled a tenuous calm. Resenting these new roles, and responsibilities. Aching with loss. Disappointed with my inability to navigate new waters without losing control.
“Point the front into the wake” – words from a lifetime ago. Took a while to do – to face the turbulence, to admit being overwhelmed, to give voice to grief, to risk the exposure. Different voices, similar messages. Still upright.
So, today, I paddle into the emotion – rolling with heartache, remembering joy. Feeling the wind, seeing beauty. Reaching inward to the person I aspire to be. And so very grateful.
Riding the wake, eyes to the sky.