Hymn 1

Listen to the silence.

Hear sorrow, fear, loss, longing,

whispers of joy, and gratitude for you.

Hold me.

Silence judgements, ridicule,

And demands. Protect me.

Cacophony of Shame, Need, and Despair riff endlessly, a cartoon character without substance or strength. Silence their taunts.

Hold me.

Tell me, if only for that moment,

I matter.

Listen to the silence.

Hear the hymn of Love, Life, and Loss echoing amidst the quiet.

Monday

Thick air. Summer heat. Summer noises: mowers, children, critters of all sorts.

Stench of death drifts from the woods. The dogs pause, catching the scent, then return to their routine explorations.

Butterflies. Multitudes of butterflies, dancing, floating, dashing. Hummingbird peeks through geranium leaves, moves on to the mandevilla.

Spectator on a Monday.

Five Months

The grave atop the hillside lacks a headstone.

Nearly 5:00 AM. Still awake, unsettled, unfocused. Alone with worries and self-recrimination. Throat aflame from bitter burning of choked back tears. More rogue attacks of So Much Emotion.

Must Not Be Needy. Be peaceful. Be joyful. Put on that happy damn face and smile. “Great, thanks!”

A goldfinch visited. Climbing the screen one day, scolding me from the bird feeder the next. “Get up! Stop moping and suck it up buttercup!”

I washed some windows, but that’s all.

Five months. Still counting. Still hurting.